The
faster the years pass, the more I realize that we are truly living during the
best decade of our entire lives. The raging 20’s. The decade we all hope to graduate
the school we have always been mistaken for as Northwestern University, to find
the perfect job that was not derived from our previous co-ops, to live the
glamorous life in the best city in the world – New York City, of course – and
to find, be engaged to, and marry the love of our lives.
As
I was sitting at a bar in New York, I was intrigued by the conversation these
two people, one lady and one man, were having. By the looks of it, they had to
be around my age, not just because they reeked of ‘college student,’ but
because of the ambitious, almost unrealistic, goals the man was painting. He
was an undergraduate student somewhere in California and was graduating a year
earlier than most. He’s been dating his girlfriend for what seems to be a
while, and was hoping to marry her in the next two years.
“Dude,
I didn’t realize how expensive rings were. Did you know that guys start saving
up in college? Why didn’t anybody tell me this! I would have at least a couple
thousand by now. Actually, I was so messed up freshman year and I technically wasn’t
dating her sophomore year. Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t have saved up for any
wife if I think about it,” Man. The lady responded by saying, “Eric, you know that
you might get married before I even graduate college? That’s so weird! Oh my
god, I’m so excited!”
From
their colloquial choice of words and from the depth of the conversation’s
subject, there was, without an ounce of doubt, an established relationship
between these two. It takes unwavering trust to discuss the matters of
marriage, and an even deeper level of intimacy to call somebody by his or her
first name. There is a weight that comes when somebody is called by their name,
or any title that possesses some sort of significance. The more direct people
are with one another, the more connected, loved, and even secured they feel. Humans,
having an innate desire for connection, naturally gravitate and respond to
those who affirm some sort of connection and continue to press in and long for more.
The
man and lady’s dynamics were engaging. It seemed like it wouldn't matter what
the theme of conversation would be because they were excited to share and
experience life with one another. Their choice of words were comfortable and
when expressing themselves, there appeared to be nothing held back. In their
tone, there was a vulnerability without space for fear of judgment because it
was rooted from their developed relationship. There was no need for explanation
when reiterating seasons of their lives because it was already understood. It was
as if they already knew what was going on in each other’s day to day lives, which
ultimately allowed them to freely engage in something different.
Ruth, I find your post to be very interesting, since we can all relate to what you wrote at first. We are all college students at the beginning of our twenties and have somewhat unrealistic perspectives of what our next five to ten years should look like or what we want them to look like. That alone, possibly creates an entire discourse community for all of us dreamers and almost college graduates wishing to be accomplished adults. Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteThe most interesting part of your post was when you mentioned how people feel more secure when directness is given. I see it as humans having a tendency to gravitate towards relationships that would promise further feelings of importance. Calling someone by their first name already suggests that the relationship has potential for further development. Our names are personal and unique to ourselves so the directness breaks formalities and lets us know that someone is paying attention and listening.
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